NOFLASH
CASH
Real businesses that print money while you sleep.
No memes. No Lambos. Just quarters, soap, and pure profit.
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Laundromats:
The Silent Millionaire Maker
One location. 30–50% net margins. $100k–$400k/year take-home. Runs itself after year 1. The only business where customers pay you to do their chores.
- ✔ Recession-proof
- ✔ SBA financing loves them
- ✔ 2.2–3.5× SDE exit multiple
real case study
6-bay hybrid
Car Washes:
Subscription Income Goldmines
Unlimited wash clubs = recurring revenue on steroids. One site can easily clear $300k–$700k net/year with memberships.
- ✔ 60–70% gross margins
- ✔ Water recycling = massive savings
- ✔ 3–5× SDE exits common
Vending Routes:
Set-and-Forget Riches
100–300 machines generating $8k–$25k/month net profit with just 5–10 hrs/week once scaled. Truly passive once locked in.
- ✔ 100% cash – no receivables
- ✔ 3–5× annual profit multiples
- ✔ Telemetry = restock only when needed
220-machine route
400-unit facility
Self-Storage:
The Wealth Compounder
70–90% net margins. Almost zero employee headache. SBA 10% down financing available. The ultimate wealth compounder.
- ✔ 70–90% net profit margins
- ✔ Almost zero employee headache
- ✔ 5–8× NOI cap-rate exits
More Cash Cows Dropping Soon
Stop Chasing Unicorns.
No email required. No bullshit. Just profit.